Reflective

I have these strange, almost out of body moments when I realize, holy crap, I'm an adult! When did this happen and how do I make it stop? I sometimes wonder if my parents have these moments still, even though they are past the 50's mark (sorry Mom and Dad) where they wonder, when did this happen?

I had it tonight. I had just gotten home and changed into my pajamas, washed the breakfast dishes, looked at the clock and realized it was already past 9pm. I immediately took my nightly pills, drank my probiotic yogurt, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and got in bed to read. Then it hit me...I'm old. I'm an adult. I live alone, halfway across the world from the most important people in my life and I'm an adult. I am responsible for the education of children. I pay bills. I can go on trips without asking permission. I mean, I've been doing this and able to do this for awhile now, but it just hits me at these weird times and I am struck dumb by how quickly life passes. I'm almost 30. 30, people. Wow.

Maybe this is just one of those reflective, late-night moments, but when they happen, they always make me wonder if I'm doing justice to all I've been given...my education, my loving upbringing, my amazing and loyal friends, my kids...even whether or not my grandfather would be proud of me if he could see the woman I am today.

Hmm.